FAiTH

I have to say thanks for our Father, God, for sending me love from the above and keeping me warm at body and heart.

those days seem to me so far away, it actually happens at the beginning of this month
those were the nightmare, thanks God for giving me strength to overcome all these.
Thanks for bringing me people, bringing me love, giving me wisdom.

A few days to go and 2010 will be in history, life in its continuity, joy and peace and brilliant.

cow.

Alone in Kyoto

This is a cut in the soundtrack of Lost in Translation, directed by Sofia Coppola.
I sort of find it is meant to be, as I am listening to this track from Talkie Walkie by Air just few days ago..
no.. it is these few days

and, definitely, I would not have such a reflection back then if I watched the movie when I was in the university.
this movie has such a dynamic to drag out the way I felt when I am on the road.

....
"they meet, they broke up."
.....
“It’s about misunderstandings between people and places,” she says. “It’s about things being disconnected and looking for moments of connection. There are so many moments in life when people don’t say what they mean, when they are just missing each other, waiting to run into each other in a hallway.”
....

when you meet some certain people over and over again, you do not know them, but you recognize their faces, voices, it is strange, and some of them, you are actually missing.

why do I find myself in such an emptiness when I do not feel lost.
I am busy, meeting friends, staying with my family, working, shopping, everyday, every second.

Does it get harder and harder when you spend a fair and a fair amount of time in the hotel rooms, on the planes, working for your boss?

Viva La Vida

time is passing so fast,
Cars on the road are driven in high speeds
what's everybody hurry for?

Water is running too fast, even on the bath tube.
I am slow.

One second you rule the world, the next second you are giving it all up
what am I worry about?

I don't recall

I don't recall how were the days before heading to Taiwan event,
the strange scenery in the office tonight makes me wonder, because last week, or last few weeks,
colleagues left around 8pm....

Looking at the Calendar, 15/Dec. Suddenly I was surprised that it was only a month ago.
Last Month, 15th & 16th, I stayed in the office until 9:30 or even 10pm.

In the between, 15th Dec and 15th Nov, it seems there were many things, it makes me feel like a year passed already.
It's just 30 days ago to be accurate.

company event, travel, separate, photo shooting, presentation, business trip, affairs, doctors, family, christmas carols practicing, exhibitions, during all these happening
there are million of works to be done
only in these 30 days.

every second is changing and something new is injecting...

Something can never tell, you'll never know

Rocks on my shoulders have been put down in Kuala Lumpur yesterday and the day before yesterday.
That's stressful, it's now released, but I can still feel there's pain on my chest and the bone..

something can only happen in Malaysia, and they are fun.
I wore the new topshop tight jeans walking on the street, that can only happen in Malaysia
Bil said she never goes out without her bag, but this can happen in Malaysia, only
I met a guy from Middle East on the plane.
I went out to get a drink in the middle of the night, and then go back to Hotel and work

Thanks God, keeping me strong when I am weak.

Overloading....Body, suitcase and my mind

Now, I feel so sorry to my dearests, I cannot come out to hang around, because I am still working

Now, I feel so nervous, I haven't packed my suitcase to Kuala Lumpur for tomorrow, and I have a tremendous of resources to make sure I have with me

Now, I feel weak on my knees, there are two more themes to be created, but then I feel I lose all my inspiration and thinking


Save me.
I am afraid.

Adagio

to keep myself focus, I need a Adagio

This is such a beautiful music, when you have something heavy in your heart
when you cannot get rid of it, when you cannot stop thinking about it...

Try the Adagio, it helps release such a repressed command inside you
it is not going to make you cry
it is not going to deepen your sadness
through the tempo, through the notes, your grief is really out of your body
and then you can be more of yourself
be more honest to your true self

It's Dec 3, 3 in the morning
the weather is just fine, not too cold, my hands can move freely
my eyes lids always want to close and my mind really wants to take a rest and has a sleep
my heart wants to stay awake
it likes: waiting for something

sometimes, it's just not easy to ask your heart to follow your mind
heart is where giving you an inner thought
mind, to me, it is something like a calculator
she shows you how

1 hour with Adagio, I'd better go to bed and
let tomorrow will be, will be....

4 hours later, I am at work again

Life

Something you can never know, once you try to guess, the more terrify you will be....

Life can be simple, can be complicated,
isn't that all depending how you see, how you value it?
living in the world is not just on my own, i need encouragement, i need love, i need a shelter

when you try to put every treasurable things to your heart, but then you get hurt...
worth of it?
whenever you find hurt is set on both side, but you fail to figure out what to say...
what to do?

stress.
there's a vise grip on my chest, I am painful
there's a large hammer hitting straight to my heart, i am now, trembling in panic

this is no ordinary love... and I can never have enough

Good morning, on July 7

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours


"Love Letters of Great Men" by Beethoven